Paternal Affections

I love being a father. I take great enjoyment from even the mundane tasks of child rearing. I love opening my wallet and pulling out singles for the school bake sale. I love the ease in which my children approach me, taking liberty and climbing on my lap. I find comfort in watching them grow and mature.

Perhaps this is why I am agonizing over my father. Historical summary: he beat me mom, took off before I was born, never supported me, and I never laid eyes on him until I was in high school. I am now some years out of my teens, with a 9 year old and a 6 year old. My parents were married for 2 years. I will celebrate 14 glorious years in a few weeks.

Back to agonizing. Since I turned 14, my father seems to go through periods of reminiscence. These periods seem to coincide with his high school reunions. He will write to me for a few months prior to the reunion. He will then try to worm his way into my life for a few days. He occasionally writes for a few months after. Then as abruptly as he connected, he disconnects.

This year is a reunion year.